I know guys from all spectrums of life.  Many are hooked on the internet postings in the so-called “seduction community”.  They tell me all about the tons of content now available online about meeting women.  But what constantly amazes me is how much of this material must be “deleted” from their heads in order for them to become great with women.

Because there is only one thing that happens when you allow yourself to keep on reading every blogpost, forum, and B.S. theory that’s out there… you actually get further and further away from your ultimate goal. 

Ultimately, every guy wants to attract women to him naturally and have choice in his life.  But guys tend to collect all kinds of information because they feel safer sitting at home reading about meeting women rather than actually going out and being the man that attracts women.  Reading too much online material leads you to believe that you need each and every technique in the world before heading out the door.

I’ve been a ladies’ man all my life.  None of my skills came from sitting at home studying “pickup” theories from the internet.  I was out there in the real world.  I rarely went online because I was too busy with an abundance of beautiful women, having fun and enjoying my life.

Guys, I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Get out of your head.  Stop believing that techniques are your saving grace.  They are nothing but a crutch that keep you stuck at home, lonely and frustrated, surfing the internet.

What you need to do is start working on yourself.  Spend less time focusing on women and more time focusing on the man you want to be—a man who naturally attracts women to him.  A man who believes in himself and is sexually desirable.

So how do you become a sexually desirable man?  It begins with your mindset, and from there it trickles down to your body language, presence, and eye contact.  When you change your mindset, you change your belief and how you view the world.  Ironically, you also change how the world views you.

At the end of the day, it comes down to one question: What do you want?

If you want to learn a thousand lines and routines—and maybe have mediocre success with women, then keep on surfing the internet.  But if you want to have fun, be happy, enjoy your life, and attract more women than you can possibly handle into your life, then start focusing on yourself and what women really want: a sexually confident man, not a guy full of lines routines and techniques.

Get out of your head.  Get out of your house.  Get into a new reality by doing the work you need to do to become a sexually desirable man.

You can have beautiful women in your life—as many beautiful women as you want—if you’re willing to accept change.

A common theme with many guys I work with is resistance to change.  All of us were brought up with a certain set of beliefs about life and the world—some good, some bad, but all affected how we perceive ourselves.  Some of these beliefs came from our childhood religion, our parents, or society’s values in general.  These beliefs colored our existence and the life decisions that we made from childhood through early adulthood.

The guys who are most successful with women—like me—never let any of these beliefs affect us.  We never bought into the B.S.  We never followed the crowd.  We never did what we were told to do.

The guys that fell in lock step with the crowd (which is the vast majority) allowed these beliefs—beliefs that came not from within their true selves—to be carved into stone.  They fomented, crystallized, and in many cases hardened into a brick wall in guys’ belief systems.

When a guy comes to me and says, “Cory, I want to be great with women”, I start by asking lots of questions and digging deep into his life experiences.  When I do so, he and I are both often amazed at how much opportunity has been right in front of him, but the brick wall in his head is so thick that we need to do a lot of work together to knock it down and replace it with new beliefs that create new possibilities.

The problem is that most guys do not want to let go of the comfortable blanket of coziness in which they have wrapped themselves up their entire lives.  It’s much easier to hide inside the box you’ve built, wrapped up in your blanket, safe from the responsibilities of success.

With success in anything comes an escape from the person you used to be.  It can be a difficult and staggering task to say goodbye to that old self in whose blanket you have been kept so warm.

When I show guys a reality that they couldn’t possibly imagine before, such as hanging around with beautiful women twenty years younger than themselves, dating multiple women at once, or enjoying relationships with supermodels, guys often shut down because they fear letting go of their old self.

The center of this old self is a belief system that says that none of this is possible.  But when you condition yourself to accept that not only is it possible… it’s just another Friday night… your reality is literally rocked to the core.

This is why it’s so important to be open to and accepting of change.  Be willing to take chances.  We’ve all heard the term “No risk, no reward”, and I’m here to tell you that’s how to live a full life with an abundance of beautiful women.

You must take risks.  Risks are a critical part of every successful guy’s life.  Every guy who has ever been great at anything has had the courage to step out of his comfort zone and take chances.  The guys who don’t take chances will literally watch their lives pass by right in front of their eyes.  They will grow old and wonder how it happened while they sit on their rickety porch with a beer, chanting society’s mantra of “I wish I had…”

Don’t be an “I wish I had”.  Be an “I’m glad I did”.  With no regrets.

Accept change.  Love change.  Relish change.  Let go of your old self.  Enjoy your time here on earth.  We only get one chance at this thing called life.  Let’s live it to the fullest.

The decision is yours.  It’s up to you to knock down the brick wall that stands in your way.

I’ve noticed something about a lot of dating instructors who teach guys questionable methods to meet and date women:  They teach control.

What do I mean by that?  Simply, they want guys to believe that the way to make things happen with a woman is to control every situation.  For example, many instructors teach guys how to get a girl’s phone number… and they teach guys to get it as fast as possible. 

That’s wrong-headed thinking.

Because at the end of the day, the sexually desirable guy that just lets things happen may get less numbers but ends up with four times as many women… and the connection that he has with these women is extremely hot.

In fact, I teach guys not to get numbers, but rather to build such a sexually charged connection during the interaction that she can’t help but give you her number without your even asking for it.  This goes against conventional wisdom because there is a misguided belief that getting a number is the same as generating a sexually charged connection. 

Conventional wisdom also says that women do not call guys.  But I know for a fact that if you present yourself as a sexually desirable guy who has a “magnetic mindset”, you can give your number to a woman and she will call.   In fact, women call and text guys they like day and night.  This is a commonplace experience for my students.

Another example is talking too much.  Many dating instructors preach controlling the conversation with a woman by talking endlessly, whether you use rehearsed routines or not. 

Again, wrong-headed thinking. 

Ultimately, a woman wants to qualify herself to a man.  She does not want a man qualifying himself to her, which is what most guys do when they talk too much. 

Women love talking about themselves.  Why should we take that away from them?  Shut up and listen.  Some of the hottest interactions I’ve had with women have been hour-long conversations with me saying only five words.  It’s an easy way to build sexual chemistry.

Guys want a clear A-B-C roadmap for success with women, but I’m going to be in your face with this… it doesn’t work like that.  There is no formula for interacting or communicating with women.  Women are emotional beings.  They cannot be categorized into anyone’s “formula”.

But A-B-C thinking is what’s making the bankrolls of many dating instructors fat—attempting to teach guys that you can control each and every situation with either the right line or the perfect routine.

The reality is, we don’t have absolute control of anything.  The way to make things happen is to let things happen. 

Let it happen.

One of my main tools for teaching guys how to be great with women is affirmations.  I have several different ways to apply affirmations into your life—ways that I’ve developed over a period of years.  (There are other techniques I teach as well, but affirmations are a universally accessible way to get started.)

During the process of acquiring a “magnetic mindset”, many of my students experience a subconscious block that prevents them from being consistent with affirmations.  They start applying them and begin to notice subtle changes in the way they behave and the reactions they get from other people.  Some of these changes are so far outside of their realities that it blows their minds.

This is scary for some guys.  It opens them up to a new world they never thought possible—a new world that is ripe with possibilities that they had never even considered before.   A new world that shatters what they’ve always believed.

So they stop.

But, I urge you to never stop your affirmations.  Affirmations are your lifeline.  They are your oxygen supply.  If you stop doing them, then you cut off your own air.

You can’t stop.

Earlier this summer, I personally experimented with stopping.  At first, I noticed no difference.  But after about three weeks, I began to have negative thoughts that caused me to make a few mistakes… mistakes I wouldn’t have normally made.

We are all the same.  Even with all my amazing success with women, in other areas of my life I still have a lot of old negative programming hidden in the back of my brain.  We all do.

If we stop our affirmations, we begin to drift backward to bad beliefs that date all the way back to our early childhoods.  It’s like the helmsman of a ship who abandons the wheel, hoping that the ship will automatically drift into port.

But we all know what will happen.  The winds and currents will drive that ship in random directions.  And yet that’s precisely what we allow to happen if we stop applying affirmations.

All your old thoughts and beliefs are deeply embedded in your subconscious mind.  By applying affirmations consistently, you slowly change those old limiting beliefs and take control of the direction of your life.  Affirmations keep you on course.

See, what I teach guys is a radical way to “detox” yourself from your past.  I show you how to build up such a strong defense so that no amount of negativity from others affects you at all.

That’s the power of affirmations (as well as other teaching methods I use) to completely turn your life around… and why you should never stop applying them.

I know a lot of this sounds New-Age-y, hocus pocus, or just plain fruity.

But it works.  Results don’t lie.

I’m not a scientist.  I don’t pretend to be one.  I haven’t done ten years’ worth of research in libraries to uncover the mechanisms behind this.

All I know is that it works.

It works for me.  It works for my students.  And that’s all I care about.  Using these methods, I have now personally changed the lives of guys all over the world.  As I often say, I didn’t think I could get this across to guys when I first started. 

But now, I know from experience that the guys who are willing to take a chance… to suspend disbelief and do what I tell them to do… have infused their lives with changes they never thought possible.

Your subconscious mind is a powerful mechanism… if you use it properly.  It will either make you or break you.

The best way I’ve found to communicate with this deep part of yourself is to do affirmations every day for an hour.  Yes, an hour!  It’s a very small amount of time when you realize the results you’re going to get.

Set aside a time in your day to apply affirmations the way I teach them.  I don’t care how busy you are.  This is too important.  It is the lifeline that fuels everything else you do.

If you do them every day, you’re one step closer to having the life you want.

“The Truth About Approach Anxiety”

by Cory Skyy 

Guys often ask me, “Cory, how do you teach your students to get over approach anxiety?” 

The answer always amazes them. 

“I don’t.  There is no such thing as approach anxiety.” 

I’ll admit it.  I lose a lot of guys at this point.  They think I’m crazy.  Problem is, they’ve read reams of articles and posts by “community” guys on the internet and nothing—absolutely NOTHING—will convince them that there is no such thing as approach anxiety. 

“Approach anxiety” is not a medical or scientific term.  It was invented by the community to identify the feelings of nervousness guys feel when about to approach an attractive woman. 

Well, I’m here to say that it’s all a bunch of B.S. 

Even though many guys think I’m full of it when I say this, I don’t care.  Because the ones who really “get it” stick around to hear what I have to say.  This is the 2% who are willing to hear something different and aren’t brainwashed by a million internet posts.   

These guys usually become my best students.  They’re willing to think outside the community box and take chances on something that actually requires them to put in some effort. 

Truth is, what I teach is not easy.  It’s not for the faint of heart.  It requires dedication, determination, persistence, and practice. 

But the fact is, once I’m done with a student, he doesn’t even recognize the phrase “approach anxiety”. 

When you walk through the world as a confident and powerful man… a man who drips sexuality everywhere he goes… you don’t need to approach.  You don’t need lines.  You don’t need hypnotic phrases.  You don’t need routines. 

It’s true.  Attraction is the most normal gift given to all of humanity.  It’s been around thousands of years before the first pickup “guru” wrote a post on the internet. 

It’s within you right now.  You were born with it. 

So what’s the problem?  It’s that society has taught you to hide the sexual giant that resides within you.  We have been conditioned by B.S. “rules” that teach men to be whiny butt-kissers.  When it comes time to actually exude some sexuality, the “rules” kick in—causing a conflict in our brains. 

That’s where the anxiety comes from. 

For example, I personally have zero “approach anxiety”.  When I walk into a bar… heck, when I walk into a supermarket… women are immediately checking me out.   

Any one of them are willing to talk to me so I don’t even need to walk up to them and start talking.  Even in the supermarket, I can get them to hover near me by communicating sexuality through eye contact.  I never even think about approaching. 

This is what I teach my students. 

And it’s powerful.  Two years ago, if you told me I’d be teaching guys how to do this I would have said, “No way!  You can’t teach that.  You either have it or you don’t.” 

But the results I get—from guys who initially thought I was full of B.S.—are stunning.  I myself am constantly amazed at how many seemingly-hopeless guys can transform themselves from shaky balls of anxiety into men that drip sexuality… with just a little coaching. 

Learn how to awaken the sexual giant within and you’ll forget what the phrase “approach anxiety” even means.

“The One Word That Will Stop Women In Their Tracks To Talk To You”

by Cory Skyy 

It’s not a pickup line. 

It’s not a routine. 

It’s one word… 

“Presence”. 

I talk a lot about the word “presence”.  But a lot of my new students don’t fully understand the concept until I get them out in the field. 

Have you ever heard a woman say, “I don’t know why I like him.  He’s just got that… I don’t know… that certain something.” 

When a guy with strong presence walks down the street, he drips sexuality to the point that women are checking him out from a mile away.  It’s much more than just a certain look.  Presence can be defined as the intersection of three elements: style, body language, and mindset. 

Let’s talk about each in detail… 

1.  Style. 

Yes, there is such a thing as dressing sexy for men.  No, this does NOT mean wearing a tall hat or a vest with a flashing LED display.  The guys who wear that crap are shooting themselves in the foot by being un-genuine. 

Your style has to reflect the genuine you.  Yes, it needs to be sexy and fashionable.  But it also needs to make a statement about the kind of masculine man you are.  If you’re not a biker, then don’t dress like one.  If you’re not a rockstar, then don’t dress like one.  You can have a flagrantly sexy style without being un-genuine to yourself. 

And you can’t just wear what other guys wear.  I wear a lot of ripped jeans and skimpy shirts that show off my chest.  This works for me.  This won’t work for a 6’5” skinny guy who hasn’t been to the gym in years. 

Developing a style that works for you takes time, but it’s something that’s worth the effort.  You’re going to have to get somebody else involved here to help you… somebody who understands style and who isn’t afraid to tell you, “That looks awful!  Throw that away now!” 

2.  Body language. 

This is another area in which you absolutely need someone to point out what you’re doing wrong.  There are things you do that you have ZERO clue about… because you just don’t see yourself from a third-person viewpoint. 

The body language of a man with a strong presence is different depending on your height, weight, and physical features. 

George Clooney slouches and looks sideways while he’s smiling.  That’s a look he’s learned to develop over the years and it works for him.  Brad Pitt, on the other hand, has mastered the look that says “I have it all and I’m bored with it”.  That works for him. 

I have a powerful body language that says “I love myself”, a powerful belief that turns women on.  They have ZERO DOUBT that I believe in myself completely… because I do. 

Which leads to the third (and most important) element of presence: 

3.  Mindset. 

This is where it all flows from.  You can work on tweaking your style and body language for the rest of your life, but you will never drip sexuality if your mindset has even an ounce of doubt. 

This is the hardest part of becoming great with women, especially if you have a lot of mental baggage.  Truth is, most guys do.  For years, we have been fed bad information from our close friends, family, television, music, and society in general. 

We have been told to be “good little boys”… “don’t brag”… “please others”… “be nice to women and send them flowers”… and assorted other B.S. all our lives. 

But a man with strong presence who drips sexuality has learned to tune out all this negative (and false) “programming” that is so ingrained in some of us that it causes a kind of paralysis.  Guys are literally STUCK in one point of their lives, unable to move, because of conflicting beliefs in their minds. 

Some seek therapy.  Some seek religion.  Some seek a “pickup guru” who can help set them straight. 

But if a “pickup guru” teaches only approaching and conversation, then the guy will most likely stay stuck in the same spot… because he’ll never address the real problem… the “bad programming” that still runs in his brain. 

If you want to be great with women, this is why it’s so important to spend 99% of your time on developing a “magnetic mindset” that cancels out all the B.S. that’s been injected into your head all your life.  The people that put it there for you probably had good intentions… but I guarantee they’re not great with women. 

When you fully understand what “presence” is… and you take the steps to develop it by perfecting your style, body language, and mindset… women will be saying “I don’t know, he just has that certain something…” 

And they’ll be talking about YOU.

“Don’t Approach Women All The Time”

By Cory Skyy

One of the questions I get asked most often is:

“Cory, all the other pickup gurus force their students to approach every woman they see.

Why don’t you do this?”

The short answer: It’s creepy, and it’s easier to do the prep work and have women come to you.

It really is. I’ve watched guys who have been through other boot camps go up and approach almost every single woman in a bar.

What have they just done? They just sent an alarm out to everyone in that bar that they are a creepy m.f. They obviously have no sense of connection, quality, or awareness. If you just go randomly talking to everybody, you come across as needy and it sends out a bad vibe to every woman in that place.

I am not saying that you can’t be social; all I am saying is that if your intention is to go out to a bar just to talk to women then you will come across creepy. I have seen it way too many times.

Stop it now.

Here’s what I do when I walk into a bar:

I enter with power and presence… with a belief that “I’m the prize”. This is projected to the entire room through my body language, my posture, and my eyes as soon as I walk in. I check everybody out. I gaze the entire room. I make eye contact with pretty much everyone in the place. I find the “sweet spot” which is the place where I can stand and gaze at the largest part of the room. I order a drink. I chill. I talk to whoever’s around me where I’m standing and continue to gaze around the room even when I am talking.

Many guys go out and start a conversation with someone (which is fine) but they tend to give 100% attention to that person/conversation and get consumed in it. All this does is kills your chances of actually meeting anyone else. There could be a girl checking you out across the bar and you wouldn’t even know it.

You always want to be aware of your surroundings at all times. Pick your head up and look around. If you are holding yourself well and are confident, women will check you out everywhere you go. There are thousands of women that want you right now but you need to do the right things to put your self out there so they can actually come to you.

I always check the vibe in the room. This is “awareness”. It’s like a commando sneaking into a highly-guarded facility. He doesn’t just go in guns blazing. He waits, watches, and picks up on everything going on before he goes in.

That’s the way to do it.

I always check things out before going in; if I do see a girl I think is cute I want to find out who she is with first. Is she with her boyfriend? Husband? Is it a girls’ night out? You want to find out what you are you walking into.

Too many guys believe that if they’re not running around talking to everybody, women will think they’re a quiet loser. This is b.s. By not running around, you’re letting them know that you have no agenda. You’re just chillin’; you’re confident and comfortable with yourself. You’re having a good time with the people immediately around you, and you don’t give a s**t about what anyone thinks.

Once you master the way to project this vibe to a room, women come out of the woodwork and start to make eye contact with you and will actually come to you.

But it’s an art—and you have to do it right.

Most guys don’t know how to do this and it is not something that can be taught in words. It is just like anything else—hands-on experience is the best training you can have. That’s why I recommend attending any of my boot camps. We cover all this and go through many different exercises that prepare you to go out into the real world and apply it. This is why they keep selling out. Nobody else teaches this stuff. Nobody.

Awareness, presence, and body language are the most overlooked aspects of meeting and dating attractive women.

Hey man,

Cory Skyy’s SEDUCTION TIPS

June 24, 2008