The Brick Wall That Prevents Guys From Being Great With Women
You can have beautiful women in your life—as many beautiful women as you want—if you’re willing to accept change.
A common theme with many guys I work with is resistance to change. All of us were brought up with a certain set of beliefs about life and the world—some good, some bad, but all affected how we perceive ourselves. Some of these beliefs came from our childhood religion, our parents, or society’s values in general. These beliefs colored our existence and the life decisions that we made from childhood through early adulthood.
The guys who are most successful with women—like me—never let any of these beliefs affect us. We never bought into the B.S. We never followed the crowd. We never did what we were told to do.
The guys that fell in lock step with the crowd (which is the vast majority) allowed these beliefs—beliefs that came not from within their true selves—to be carved into stone. They fomented, crystallized, and in many cases hardened into a brick wall in guys’ belief systems.
When a guy comes to me and says, “Cory, I want to be great with women”, I start by asking lots of questions and digging deep into his life experiences. When I do so, he and I are both often amazed at how much opportunity has been right in front of him, but the brick wall in his head is so thick that we need to do a lot of work together to knock it down and replace it with new beliefs that create new possibilities.
The problem is that most guys do not want to let go of the comfortable blanket of coziness in which they have wrapped themselves up their entire lives. It’s much easier to hide inside the box you’ve built, wrapped up in your blanket, safe from the responsibilities of success.
With success in anything comes an escape from the person you used to be. It can be a difficult and staggering task to say goodbye to that old self in whose blanket you have been kept so warm.
When I show guys a reality that they couldn’t possibly imagine before, such as hanging around with beautiful women twenty years younger than themselves, dating multiple women at once, or enjoying relationships with supermodels, guys often shut down because they fear letting go of their old self.
The center of this old self is a belief system that says that none of this is possible. But when you condition yourself to accept that not only is it possible… it’s just another Friday night… your reality is literally rocked to the core.
This is why it’s so important to be open to and accepting of change. Be willing to take chances. We’ve all heard the term “No risk, no reward”, and I’m here to tell you that’s how to live a full life with an abundance of beautiful women.
You must take risks. Risks are a critical part of every successful guy’s life. Every guy who has ever been great at anything has had the courage to step out of his comfort zone and take chances. The guys who don’t take chances will literally watch their lives pass by right in front of their eyes. They will grow old and wonder how it happened while they sit on their rickety porch with a beer, chanting society’s mantra of “I wish I had…”
Don’t be an “I wish I had”. Be an “I’m glad I did”. With no regrets.
Accept change. Love change. Relish change. Let go of your old self. Enjoy your time here on earth. We only get one chance at this thing called life. Let’s live it to the fullest.
The decision is yours. It’s up to you to knock down the brick wall that stands in your way.
December 8, 2008 at 9:40 am
Dude, i don’t mean to sound like a puss but this blog almost pushed me to tears. I’ve been a quiet shy guy that is AFRAID(yeah i said it) to talk to girls. Can’t get out of my mind and get out of my comfort zone and just talk to them. It’s always been a problem of mine. I freeze out and never do anything. The worst part about it is what you said towards the end of it. I’m seeing my life go by before my eyes and not doing anything about it. And not doing what i love to do the most: women! I turned 22 a couple months ago and I feel like I’m going to grow old and still be a little bitch. But now I see the key..its CHANGE. I gotta accept it and love it. And most of all LIVE MY LIFE like I wanna live it. Thanks a lot for your post. You don’t know how much it helped.
June 4, 2009 at 12:20 am
great post.
i read somewhere you can make excuses or you can make opportunities. pick-up is not for the faint of heart, as I’ve learned in the past couple of years. great posts man.